Arsenal smashed Steve McClaren's poor FC Twente to reach the Champions League group stage.
ANTON FERDINAND has completed his transfer to Sunderland.
Peter Kenyon has said that Real Madrid's Robinho will become a Chelsea player by the end of the week. Chelsea have been chasing the signature of the Brazilian during the summer despite the fact that the Spanish side were resolute in their attempts to persuade their player to stay.
Amidst rumours he is staying, the club issue the following statement on James..
So, after having my heart broken on Humberside (see 'God, Hull and Emo'), I returned to 'da Pool determined to find a girlfriend. And I knew just the one.
Picture the scene: you're ordering the second lot of Aftershocks, Sue from accounts has texted and is asking whether you fancy meeting up and you know you're well on your way to oblivion because you're actually giving the fella in the bog a quid for a squirt of Jean Paul Gaultier, rather than putting in 10p in copper and making a swift exit then...BLAM.
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